Just some bag lady riding the New York City peasant express.
Definitely not anyone I’m related to.
I really didn’t think anything could be worse than cut-off denim overalls, but then Willow Smith accessorized them with a dog she dyed pink. Not only is this unnecessary and inhumane — it doesn’t even match!
I feel so sorry for every pet this family has ever had, and every person Willow Smith has ever known. And that includes myself.
The family that goes clubbing in South Beach together stays together. Or something like that.
I stopped trying to understand the Pinkett-Smiths a long time ago.
I think Jessica Simpson’s baby just figured out that she’s Jessica Simpson’s baby.
Stop the presses.
In the world’s biggest haircut news since Felicity, Willow Smith has apparently shaved her head.
This is not good. First of all, head-shaving usually denotes crazybrain. (See: Britney Spears.) I have long said that Willow Smith is crazy and dangerous — even though obviously I love her like a sister — and this is not going to do her any favors in that department.
Secondly, Willow’s best and most famous characteristic was her much-whipped hair. It is irresponsible of her to shave it while other celebrities protect their most lucrative assets, such as Jennifer Lopez’s insured derriere or my safe deposit box full of shoes and gold bars.
I feel like a need a HAZMAT-grade decontamination shower after seeing this.
The Vanity Fair Oscar party was clearly not Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ first time at the photo booth rodeo.
Breaking news: one of Ricky Martin’s twins has glasses.
(Unfortunately, both have shoes with Velcro.)